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Advice needed about friendships

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Oct. 24th, 2010 | 03:36 am
mood: exhaustedexhausted
music: Linkin Park- Numb
posted by: still_here_x in advice_source

Hey. I'm Lizzie, I'm female, 22 years old from Wales. I'm not sure if this advice forum is checked often, but I really need some advice and it can't hurt to post it here.

Well, ever since I started at high school I was labelled a 'loner' and I found that I just didn't fit in with any groups of friends. Some people bullied me about it, while others let me join them, but I was kept in the 'back ground.' They didn't mind me being there, but they didn't include me much in their conversations. They'd only talk to me if for some reason one of their 'preferred' friends weren't around. On the rare occasion I'd make a friend, we'd be close for a while, then they'd find someone better. This pattern continued all through high school and college.

When I was 19 I was hospitalised for over two years because my self harm was becoming continuously life threatening. I was released June 11th, 4 months ago. Since then, I've found a few activities to attend to keep me busy and help me re-adjust to life back in society. I'm attending a theatre group, a support group for self harmers, an art therapy group and a first aid course. You can probably guess what has happened...I feel that I'm not fitting in with the people in these groups at all. Somehow, I think it's all my fault that I can't seem to make friends. Well it is really.

Should I just stop attending all these groups? They're starting to make me really miserable. I want to give up on these relationships and accept the fact that I'll never make any friends, but I'm worried my parents will tell my doctor and they'll try and lock me back up in hospital again. I still live with my parents so they'll want to know why I don't want to go to my group activities anymore. I'll also be stuck at home with nothing to do if I give up these groups and I'm thinking maybe I'll just get bored and depressed? I really don't know what to do, please, please try to offer some suggestions. I would appreciate any sort of opinion so much! Thank you.

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Comments {3}


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from: hoodwink
date: Dec. 23rd, 2010 10:43 pm (UTC)


It sounds like you are already depressed. I would contact your doctor and see what should happen next. I am currently being treated for anxiety, depression and OCD. I went to my doctor (who keep things confidential) who prescribed me with some meds to try. I went on from there, am on a new med now that works better (no major weight gain) and I also found where to get therapy/counseling. I am am adult, as are you, and unless your parents have some legal guardianship over you, you can see your doctor without them having to know anything. They also, if they don't have the guardianship, can't just have you locked up or sent to a hospital.

Focus on healing, then you can focus on getting a job and moving out on your own.


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Hey Lizzie

from: smblackbird3
date: Mar. 2nd, 2011 12:56 am (UTC)

Im a loner too. But you know what? I prefer it that way. I've had a lot of friends in school and they all had their turn doing or saying something that brings the friendship to an end. DRAMA! and no one wants drama. I have a small circle of friends now, and to be honest its the best. Fitting in is over rated. Stand out! ;) you will meet friends soon. and most importantly, GOOD friends. Who will accept you for who you are. I dont think you should stop attending the groups. Just ride it out and try not to be miserable about it. Look at it like an awesome oppurtunity to meet new people and who knows maybe you'll click with someone. If you quit you will prob become more depressed and we dont want that.

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from: still_here_x
date: Mar. 2nd, 2011 09:39 pm (UTC)

Hey :] This is the most helpful piece of advice I've had in years! Makes me feel like it isn't all totally my fault and like I'm not a completely bad person...so thank you so much :] <3

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